No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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