That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
