fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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