No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
