What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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