People in love make me want to vomit
Do vagina's smell?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
