She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
