You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
