I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
