well you can't waste a boner
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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