Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
