you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
