i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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