If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize