I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
