I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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