Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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