just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
