I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
