hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize