New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
