I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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