erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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