there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Panties = found
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
