Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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