Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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