I am puke
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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