yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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