she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They are going to name an STD after you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
