I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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