If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
