What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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