you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
