He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
