party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can I color on your dick again?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
