Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
