I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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