I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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