Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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