Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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