I want to have your abortion
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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