I have demons in me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
