Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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