Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
