She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
