More tranny stories later!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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