I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
