You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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