dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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