Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
