Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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