no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
