Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My life is pants optional.
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