yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
